Message of the day

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. - Thomas Jefferson
~...

Making a Decision – First Step to Quit Drinking

ʽʽ Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!

- W. H. Murray, from The Scottish Himalayan Expedition (1951)

What does it mean to make a decision? A decision is a commitment. It is diving into the now, this moment, the moment that you have right now at this very instant. There is no shadowy future date that awaits your decision because there is no power in tomorrow. A decision requires boldness and that fist pumping exhilaration of Yes, I will!

If you hesitate all is lost. If you start a sentence with “but”, or if you try explaining “I can’t because”, you are doomed. We who have addictions are undisciplined, fearful, and indecisive. We are a slave to our addictions. But in that moment of decision, we hold freedom in the palm of our hands. We just know we can do what we decide. We know that we have all the answers inside of us.

Deciding can change the path you are on in an instant. So be bold, and in this instant- decide. Whatever it is you are struggling with, let it go. Whatever fears you are suppressing, stop playing it safe. Nothing will ever change for you until you make a decision to change.

There is nothing that you can’t do. And in that boldness be the observer. Watch yourself expand and open up to all possibilities. As Murray says, now providence will take over and unforeseen things will occur. If you are in a lonely place, let people into your life that can assist you. No one expects you to do this journey alone. Once you open yourself up to all possibilities your life will be full.

There is only this moment.

Peer Pressure in Adulthood

Unwittingly, some of us carry around our experiences with peer pressure, from our youth into adulthood. Remember when, in high school for example, there was a constant stream of information telling us how to fit in, how to dress, how to act, and how to become one of the “beautiful people”? Who did not want to be popular and be accepted by our peers?

If we were in the popular crowd, we were fortunate. However, we were conforming to what was expected of us to stay there. If we were not so fortunate, we felt like an outsider and the message became “you are not good enough”.

The peer pressure experienced from our past can echo into our present. Sometimes we go to any length to be accepted and liked, both in our professional and personal lives. After all, we need to hear positive things about ourselves and be recognized and valued. That’s normal. But if our self esteem or confidence has been threatened by some trauma from the past and if we feel that we are not good enough, an addiction can fill that void. Some of us can turn to food, others to gambling, alcohol or drugs. For a little while this works.

When we decide to make changes in our lives, like dealing with an addiction, we often do a mental checklist to be sure that we will still be accepted by our peers. We question whether we will continue to fit in. Our concerns may go something like this: (and you can substitute the word “drinking” with the addiction that you are living with.)

What will people think about me if I quit drinking?

What am I going to say to people when I refuse a drink?

Will people treat me the same way when I stop drinking?

Will people think I have a problem and therefore am weak?

Will people find out that I have an addiction?

Reflections:

1. What are some of the messages about yourself that you received in the past from other people?

2. What are the messages you are receiving from people now?

3. Do you care so much about what others think that it is stopping you from getting well?

4. How much do you want to change?

5. How much do you worry about what others will think?

Subscribe

Did you know that Debbie the Coach has a newsletter?
Subscribe now and receive a FREE Self-assessment & Evaluation Form

DebTV

Watch Debbie's You Tube Channel

DebTV

Get Your…

Free consultation

Ad Space 1

Coaching services

Disclaimer

The material on our website is for informational purposes only, and is intended as a supplement, not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health-care provider. Read more...